Barkley’s Black Eye on Sports Broadcasting

Before steroid and sex scandals and the overrun of legal infractions, I was a ride or die sports fan. Thanks to my Dad, I’m still basking in the glory of having seen my first and only Super Bowl. But since that particular sports spectacular, the myriad of athletic impurities have altered my pledge of allegiance. Nevertheless, whether NFL, NBA, MLB, WNBA or NCAA, when the championship bells ring, I’m there.

But this isn’t about me; it’s about the pained observations of a former journalist. I was scholastically trained to report the news utilizing a strong command of the English language.  However, whenever there’s a media mockery, I can’t help but cringe.

Having watched the latest NBA playoffs, the hardwood court action has taken a backseat to the color commentary. “Commentainers” like Charles Barkley have suddenly ascended in the commentator ranks. It’s bad enough that the no-ringed retired NBA player slammed New York Knicks Coach Mike D’Antoni’s head on the chomping block based on opinion rather than fact. But when he barked “you better ax somebody,” I’m sure every English teacher who noted his spelling error wanted to howl.

At that moment, Charles’ celebrity nosedived to “celebitty” for his small-minded faux pas. If he can spell D-E-F-E-N-S-E in the T-Mobile ad, certainly he can spell A-S-K correctly. Please spare us the ebonic references, Barkley. Instead of laughing with you, many are laughing at you and frankly, there’s no humor in ignorance.       

Liposuction Your Writing

Between bursts of brevity in texts and Tweets, there’s a whole lot of bloviating going on in certain circles. Chances are, you, too, have encountered your fair share of Bettys and Bobs who write or speak verbosely. Writing or speaking in a long-winded fashion is exactly what bloviating means. Communicators who fit this mold would likely label Twitter’s 140-character limitation dysfunctional.  

What a pain to trudge through the jungle of excessive words, especially when fewer will do. Fat extraction in writing often yields the same message originally intended when properly applied.      

If you think the bloviating Bettys and Bobs are bad, those prone to sesquipedalian tendencies also fall short of communicating crisply. Multi-syllabic, that’s for sure, the word “sesquipedalian” characterizes people who rely on long words to showcase their communications IQ.

No one wants to hold a dictionary hostage for interpretation so as a favorite English teacher once advised, “a nickel word is sometimes more effective than one equivalent to a quarter.”

To conquer the communications game, always adhere to a clear and concise writing style and know your targeted audience.          

If the writing doctor has ordered liposuction, read these tips: http://smartblogs.com/leadership/2011/04/11/do-you-make-your-english-teacher-cringe/

See how the federal government has gotten its plain writing act together: http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/PLAW-111publ274/pdf/PLAW-111publ274.pdf

_____is the New Black is Old

Following Cathie Black’s high-speed exit from her NYC education post, someone tweeted “Looking forward to all ‘the _______ is the New Black’ headlines when they pick a new schools chancellor.” Ugh, that I least looked forward to and voila, there it was plastered as predicted on NYC’s NBC Website.

Let me tell you why the snowclone, “X is the New Black,” produces a scowl. According to Language Log, a snowclone is defined as a neologism used to describe a type of formula-based cliche which uses an old idiom in a new context.

“Gray is the New Black,” was coined by Tom Wolff as a fashion distinction to note new neutrals in the 1980’s. Some 30 years later, its life cycle shows no signs of collapse, whether in headlines, billboards or books: “Gay is the New Black”, “GOP is the New Black,” Bitch is the New Black,” or “Bitter is the New Black.”

Sure, “paint a picture, tell a story” is a good rule of thumb for strategic communications. But “X is the New Black” has run its course like a tread-thinned tire. I think a freshly painted canvas commands more than a remixed story. Plus, isn’t it enough that music and fashion are king and queen of the cyclical crowns? Just saying. What do you say?

Texts in Typo City

Ten years ago, the question, “how many people text?” would’ve rung validity’s bell. Today, it’s more like who doesn’t. If you’re a bystander in the texting explosion, I’m ok if you’re ok with your cellphone troglodyte status. According to a 2010 Pew Research Center report, adult texting ran amuck “over the past nine months from 65% of adults sending and receiving texts in September 2009 to 72% texting in May 2010.”

Truly, we are technologically OOC (out of control) and with those numbers, I suspect the grammatical errors produced by fumbled fingers have also climbed. Perfect in our imperfections, we all make mistakes, however, some more than others, I might add.

Given our newfound affinity for phonetic spelling and texting shorthand, the inclusion of a disclaimer I received via text is priceless: “This transmittal was sent from a handheld device. Please excuse any misspelled or abbreviated words, or other typographical errors.” Shouldn’t every cellphone come prepackaged with this?  

  

Source: http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1716/adults-cell-phones-text-messages

Word Up? LOL & OMG Added to OED

OMG, I definitely didn't LOL upon learning of the Oxford English Dictionary's latest entrants. No longer confined to tech talk, LOL and OMG have been categorically catapulted into language legitimacy.

Color me conniption fit-red because these abbreviations hardly pass word muster. Ha! It's obvious no one cares what I think since I wasn't consulted. Still SMH.

FYI: http://www.oed.com/public/latest/latest-update

AP Stamps Cell Phone and Smart Phone as Singular Nouns

In modern technology’s thick, chances are you routinely rely on cell phones or smart phones for communication but the connectivity stops there. That is, until the Associated Press recently settled the dual spelling score, declaring cellphone and smartphone as proper for the toys talkers and texters can’t live without. Going forward, it’s advisable that you ignore spell check which continues to ping when the devices are written as singular nouns.              

Here's the skinny:

• cellphone replaces cell phone;
• smartphone is now acceptable for advanced cellphones with capabilities including Web browsing, email, and downloadable apps, replacing smart phone.

Read more here: http://www.mediabistro.com/webnewser/by-ap-decree-email-cellphone-smartphone-kolkata_b13043.

Don’t Blame Beyonce for “Me, Myself & I” Misuse

Megastar Beyonce wears a lot of hats but English teacher isn’t one she dons, at least not notably. Based on observation, the reference to self wreaks communications havoc on a daily basis. Long gone is Tom Wolfe’s “Me Decade” of the 70s but today many insert “myself” where “me or I” should be. The surge in third person references is as puzzling as a Rubix Cube. Rather than elevate as if we’re rock star royalty, it merely deflates our grammatical precision.

Usage is dependent on the subject or object in a sentence’s structure. Sounds complicated, right? Before you dismiss it, consider these examples:

(1)    A few weeks ago in the Houston Chronicle, an NFL draft entrant incurred a partial grammatical penalty when he made this statement: “If I don’t believe in myself, who do I expect to believe in myself?”

Correction: If I don’t believe in myself, who should believe in me? Since who is the subject of the verb clause, “should believe,” the word “me” should be used.    

(2)    A corporate professional conveyed these directions via email: “Just send it to Don, James and myself.”   

Correction: Just send it to Don, James and me.  The person speaking should refer to themselves as “me” instead of “myself.” In other words, send it to them but also send it to me.   

     (3)    A reality TV star said “How different Jason and myself are.”

Correction: “How different Jason and I are.” This statement is made in first person so “I” is appropriate. It in essence communicates that I am different and Jason is different.  

Dr. Grammar’s rule of thumb: Use myself only when you have used I earlier in the same sentence: 'I am not particularly fond of goat cheese myself.' (Brians, Common Errors in English Usage)

For a handy breakdown of when to use “me, myself or I,” don’t consult Beyonce but do read here:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2006/09/27/me-myself-and-i-grammar